Jewish vs. Military Burial
It’s a good question – would you want to be buried in a military cemetery or a Jewish one?
With the Global War on Terror still going, it’s sadly a question some of us must reconcile with our loved ones prior to deployment. Its a question, too, our rapidly diminishing WWII veterans are asking.
An article in the Washington Jewish Week asks this compelling question.
I was really surprised to hear that the majority of Jews (at least in the article) seem to prefer burial in a military cemetery.
It’s certainly the individual’s right to choose where they are buried, but my own feelings are strongly towards burial in a Jewish cemetery.
I have a very close bond to the men and women I serve with, but it doesn’t come close to the bond I have with the Jewish people, nor to the bond I have with my wife and children. I will be a Marine for all of my life, but I will be a Jew for all of eternity.
Also, forgoing a national cemetery does not mean you are forgoing a military funeral. You can still have military elements to the burial. To me, it seems easier and more meaningful to fit military aspects into a Jewish funeral instead of fitting Jewish elements into a military funeral. This is the last life cycle event and one that lasts forever. It should be treated with the importance and respect that it deserves.
I think you hit the nail on the head, too, with “wife and children.” Burial in a military cemetery is an unaccompanied tour, so to speak. Even if I weren’t inclined to have a Jewish burial, I still would opt for a family plot over a military one.
Has anyone information on what kind of arrangements one should make with their chevra kadisha prior to deployment? How accommodating can the military be when it comes to prompt burial and tahara? Does anyone know if a shomer can be a non-Jew (for instance, a fellow Soldier)?
It would also be interesting to have a rabbinical opinion on another facet of the military funeral. In Pennsylvania, West Virginia, and Maryland, we can’t seem to have a military funeral without the presence of the Westboro Baptist Church losers with their “G-d kills the Soldiers” message. Those wonderful Patriot Guard bikers offer a free service for deceased troops where they act as a nonviolent buffer between the wackos and a funeral. Is there any prohibition against their presence at a Jewish funeral, especially if they prevent fruitcakes from causing more distress to the bereaved?
According to military.com:
However, the point is that you need to consider their wishes too. Does your family want to forgo tradition and be buried in a non-Jewish cemetery? Do you want force your family to have to decide between tradition (or law) and being buried with a loved one?
Regarding the shomer: I’m no rabbi, but I’m pretty sure the shomer has to be Jewish. I would imagine exceptions could be made in extreme circumstances, but I would think when making such a long trip, you would want a Jew to do it. That might be hard in Iraq, but you might be surprised how many organizations are out there that will offer help in times like that.
In my unit, every Marine fills out a form that gives general contact information and various wishes in case of serious injury or death. I have explicit instructions on my Jewish needs and multiple contacts for any questions on the matter. As a casualty assistance officer myself, I know that we (the Marine Corps at least) will bend over backwards to comply with a Marine’s wishes. We are actually given a good bit of leeway to make that happen. The important thing is that you make your wishes known.
I don’t think there are too many prohibitions against someone attending a Jewish funeral. As long as none of the bikers are Cohenim, they should be OK.
As long as the military can honor the Jewish tradition there can be a balance I would say.
Here is some information for you all. Recently I performed a Full Military Honors for a Jewish Officer who was KIA. It was the fastest “return home” I have ever seem. From the time he will killed, to the burial (in a Jewish cemetery, 100 hours. It even could have been faster if the rabbi had not convinced the family to wait a day (while we stood guard over our fallen brother) We, The soldiers, did everything we could to keep in accordance with your traditions. Thank you for your service my brothers and sisters in arms.